Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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