good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
