There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
