And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
