You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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