I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
