sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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