Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize