Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
