My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
