do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize