1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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