it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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