okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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