please come you make the beer taste better
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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