After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize