He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
