Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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