this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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