All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
