i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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