so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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