I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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