Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize