honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
People in love make me want to vomit
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
