was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
