All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
