why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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