): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
