shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So squirting runs in the family.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
