i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
