Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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