I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize