were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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