Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
