that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize