I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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