dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
