You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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