curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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