Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
