i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
