Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
