so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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