If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
