Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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