Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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