I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
