tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it was like eating out sand paper
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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