everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He felt like a one man threesome
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
