we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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