You really coming over, don't trick.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize