You smell like a Billy Joel song
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
