Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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