I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
