i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
