Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
