Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
