I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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