Where did you get a picture of my penis
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
