My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I deserve this hangover.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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