We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
