I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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